Better the Devil you Know
by Kait Barnes
Summary: (Set around Season Four) When Dan and Serena are dating. Lonely-Boy cheats and S has her suspicions about who I am, our Queen-Bee finds herself incapable of her feelings; but so does Mr. Bass. N goes AWOL and ends up with someone you'd never expect. You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl. (Derena, Chair, NatexOC)


Chapter One: Unexplained.

I remember sitting bolt upright in my bed at Blair's. I rubbed the back of my neck beneath my tousled blond hair, and looked around the room. I'd had a dream that night, one I couldn't forget. Dan told me _he_ was Gossip Girl. The Devil that had been tormenting us all these years. Leaking our secrets; abusing our privacy. Dan; the one I thought I loved. Blair poked her head round the door of my room, a bright grin on her face.  
"Morning, Sunshine." She says, sliding through my ajar door, and walking over to sit on my bed. She patted the covers. "I know you're probably surprised I'm up this early, but duty calls at W." She babbled, and I smiled knowingly. She was quiet afterward. "Sorry, S, but you know this is my first real job... Mother won't stop harassing me about Waldorf and... I just need something to distract me, besides Chuck."

"He who shall not be named." I say, smiling at her, before pushing my covers back a bit. She'd already been up a few hours, just by her appearance. She'd had a full face of make-up on, and her hair had been curled and blown-out. "You should try and relax." She smiled slightly, and shrugged.  
"Serena, now is not the time for formalities." She shook her blown-out locks and smiled. "I have somewhere to be! Dorota!" She called, tilting her head toward the back door of my bedroom, where the Polish woman, appeared, smiling. "Fetch me my Chanel coat? I'm on a mission." I chuckled and gave her a quick hug. "C'mon, you need to get up and out." Blair said, before stepping off of my bed and then leaving the room. I sighed and looked at my reflection in my mirror, before getting up off the bed. Dorota reappeared.

"Miss Serena." She paused and looked at me, as I looked at her. "You look awfully sad." She continued, before I shrugged and picked up a few things to take into the bathroom, that connected mine and Blair's. "Please talk to Dorota." She said, gently placing her hand on my arm.  
"You and Vanya... You know everything about each-other, but you love each-other... Right?" I asked, biting on my bottom lip as she nodded.  
"Of course, why do you ask, Miss Serena?"  
"It's nothing. I'm just curious." I paused and smiled softly. "Thank you, Dorota." I finished, before exiting the room to take my shower.

Once finished, I walked out of the bathroom, into my bedroom, in my robe, rubbing my neck as I look up. I jumped, seeing Dan sat on my bed, reading something on my laptop. "Dan." I said, shutting both doors and sitting down beside him. "What's up?" I ask, and he strokes some of my dry hair back.  
"Nothing." He said. "I just thought sometimes it would be nice to pop in and see you." He grinned, the usual goofy grin I'm in love with. He leant over and kissed me, to which I didn't stop. My hand reached out to touch his face as I kissed him, and he pulled back a little while later. I paused before he spoke again. "I love you, Serena." He took a breath, before gently kissing me once more. I sighed softly against his lips.  
"I love you, Dan." I said softly, leaning my forehead against his. "I think we need to talk... There's something I need to ask you." He looked worried, holding my waist in his hands, slowly stroking delicately. He looked into my eyes, and I could almost feel his erratic heart beating in his chest. It made me slightly uncomfortable, and I swallowed thickly. My throat clogged with the nervousness I felt every time I had to ask him a question like this, and it scared me. It scared me that he made me feel this way.

"Dan…" I sighed as I spoke, waiting for him to open his mouth to speak. I shook my head and hushed him as I felt him exhale with a word to speak. "Please, this isn't something you can talk yourself out of. It's something that only I know, or at least I think I know, and…" He shut me off.  
"How did you find out?" He looked at me, a slightly worried look in his eyes and on his cheeks, I could see his face suck in with a breath he never wanted to let go of. "I didn't tell anyone… Who told you?" He whispered his voice still soft anyway.  
"I just… I suppose I sort of guessed." I say, again, almost softly.  
"I can explain-." I shushed him. "I know it's wrong… But I just…" At that point, I knew we were talking about different things. My cheeks flushed, my heart hammered in my chest. I never knew how much I didn't trust him until this very moment.

Sat on my bed. Holding my hands. Hearts racing. Cheeks flushed.

"I slept with Georgina."

"You're Gossip Girl." We said at the exact same time.

And my eyes went wide.

So did his.

Tears fell from mine, and I pushed him away. "I can't believe I ever trusted you." I say, tears balling up in my eyes. "You say it's bad to be in my world… But you're in it now." I say, breathing heavily and shaking my head. "I can't believe you." I continuously repeat.

For hours, he's trying to hold me, make it better. Kiss the bruises he left on my heart. I tell him that it's too late, and he's left with no other choice but to kiss me. I kiss him back, feeling the tenderness of my heart slowly melting away to a stronger one. But then my eyes close and images flow through my eyes. I push him back and cover my mouth, crying softly. "Please, Dan… Just go." I panic, pushing him through the door and shutting it behind me, leaning on it and wiping my eyes.

"Oh, S…" Blair stumbles through the door, when I fall into her arms, tears falling from my eyes. And for once, we're both together.

Single & hurting.


End file.
